it hurts more in the daytime
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
