he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
