There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
