I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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