And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Let's get the cat blown out
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
