is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
My ATM looks so different sober.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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