I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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