Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
