Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
