i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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