I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
false alarm, still single
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
