I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
