Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Randomize
