Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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