the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
time to smoke my breakfast
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
