Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
