a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
