She said her name was "party"
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
where are my eyebrows?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
