I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
