Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
