Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
