I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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