Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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