i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
