Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
