have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
