I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
