My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
