i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
