just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize