She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
We had sex on a dog bed..
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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