Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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