Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
