I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize
