let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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