wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Randomize
