I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
