You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
