Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
