Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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