There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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