is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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