No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
