Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
