he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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