What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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