No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
