I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
