my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
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