I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
