Cold hands, warm shart.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
