the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
