well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
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What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
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I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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