I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
