so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
